Time

So much love to give.

So little time to live.

Trying to get a grasp on the speed in which the seconds methodically keep ticking.

Seems like just yesterday I was standing innocently by my mother’s side questioning why birds can fly and I can not………wondering where tears came from……wondering why I had to nap while everyone else around me continued their goings on……..trying to understand why flames burnt so bright……trying to comprehend how the numbers on a machine determined what music I heard.

Seems like just yesterday I was obsessed with wearing shoes owned by my elder siblings….longing to be able to fill them. Forever amused with the frivolous play of shiny toy cars in an imaginary course molded in sand by tiny, curious hands.

So suddenly it seems, innocence is lost. Lost before given the chance to be embraced.

Forced into the harsh reality that, what was just a moment ago a purposed dream, now only shards handed to me on a platter of regret.

The question…..rather…..the solution, rides on the decision made as to what to do with the shards left. The easiest being, leave the pieces at my feet. Look into each one and see the broken reflection of what was once held so dear. Look and see the dreams cut in jagged disarray. Pieces scattered at my feet, distorted further with each glimpse glanced. Pieces. Distorted. Mocking the very foundation of my soul.

Or

Meticulously sort out each reflection seen in the shards and, with each piece taken, brave the ache felt. Absorb the blood shed while raking in each and every piece that was stolen from me. Stolen by misled souls with power that was once used against me. Now, using the power of knowledge I’ve earned from the understanding of my self worth….those pieces…mirrors of horrors passed…reflections of innocence lost…I embrace them. I mold them together by forgiveness…by understanding…by growth….

The pain in the placement of each fragment is, in the moment, unbearable. But, if I reach into the very fiber of my being….find, and listen to the inner voice, regress to my initial vulnerability, the magnificence of the molded pieces will render speechless the unbelievers. It will dethrone those who caused the initial blow. Those who took my simplicity and stamped their complexity, will be blinded by the brilliance of my completed masterpiece.

Now,

…….time no longer has ownership. I control the moments passed.

Now,

……my decisions made are no longer dictated by a broken spirit but, rather, by a completed soul.

Suddenly…..

……time stands still.

Suddenly….

……..the possibilities are endless.